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Wrap

Text File | 2014-12-10 | 11KB | 230 lines

ComedyNite: ROYALE WATKINS....You may have seen him on HBO's Def Comedy Jam Question: Hey Caroline If we stump ya how ya going to stand up? ComedyNite: or on Caroline's Comedy Hour.....Welcome ROYALE WATKINS! ComedyNite: A question from the audience Question: For what reason would you have to "Take the Fifth?" Royale Watkins: I am actually a suspect so, now, I have to take the 5th Clubcomedy: Adam1498 inquires... Question: What part of Paris do you hate most? Royale Watkins: The part where the French people are Clubcomedy: Meffley asks... Question: How did you become Royal(e)?? Royale Watkins: After about three hours of passionate love making.... Clubcomedy: Here's our fave, Bob Tard! Question: Who will the Deadheads follow now that Jerry Garcia is gone? Royale Watkins: Flea from the Red Hot Chili Peppers Question: What does a beaver look like bald? Clubcomedy: That's from MC Weber Royale Watkins: I've only seen two bald beavers, I was drunk both times ComedyNite: PS....They don't taste all that bad. Clubcomedy: Guvie asks... Question: Why didn't cleopatra ever have children??? Royale Watkins: She was always on her PYRAMID Clubcomedy: What would we find in your diaries, Royale? Clubcomedy: So wonders JennyDT ComedyNite: In Royale diaries...... I don't have one....I only have taped confessions. Question: WHY DON'T BLIND MEN SKYDIVE??? Clubcomedy: Hoss Sez is curious about that one... ComedyNite: I don't know......YOU HAVE STUMPED ME ComedyNite: Please send you screen name and the ANSWER to JodieShawj with your name and you ComedyNite: will get a T-SHIRT, you lucky stiff :) Question: What will life be like after OJ? Royale Watkins: Boring Clubcomedy: Lyn2345 is wondering, Royale Question: Did you know that Michael Jackson is making his own commercial, know what it is? Royale Watkins: Trying to suck the boy OUT of the Pepsi bottle. Question: what does o j stand for? Clubcomedy: ...asks CFisher Royale Watkins: Who CARES let's just get it over with! Clubcomedy: Here's Prizon... Question: if you type as fast as you have sex it'll be a loooong night ComedyNite: Thanks....I think ComedyNite: :) Clubcomedy: Abacrombe thinks this is still the Sports show..wanna help, Royale? Question: Excuse me, but I was wondering what the Auburn score was...last I heard, they were up Question: 62-3... Royale Watkins: Who did Auburn play? Who cares!....C'mon, let's talk O.J. Clubcomedy: From BarbaraC5.. Question: Is your mom selling chips? Royale Watkins: I didn't know it was still in SYNDICATION! Clubcomedy: Here's GabeT... Question: So now this gives a Royal Flush a new meaning? Royale Watkins: It depends what game we are playing ComedyNite: OK.....Now we have Linda Smith ComedyNite: Welcome Linda ComedyNite: You may have seen here on Women of the Night, Conan ComedyNite: First Question Clubcomedy: egrahma86 starts us off, Linda... Question: what's black and white and red all over Linda Smith: It's way past your bed time EGRAHMA86 Clubcomedy: The next is from ABestnumbers... Question: What's going on in here? Linda Smith: Nothing......Trust me Clubcomedy: JonnyTelz, a regular, wants to challenge Linda... Question: What do OJ and the Shuttle Endeavor have in common? Linda Smith: They are both black (?) Clubcomedy: another oj hilarity!... Question: Why will OJ be home for the Holidays? Clubcomedy: That's from Dotinthei Linda Smith: Cause they need the carving knife Question: What do you recommend for heartburn? Linda Smith: TACOS Clubcomedy: That's from the guy who wins all the tee shirts.. he enters every contest we have Question: Why does Michael Jackson grab himself??? ...from ActressYZ Clubcomedy: That questions was from ActressYZ Linda Smith: Cause Lisa Marie won't! Question: Last night at work some guy cut his toe off. Know what we did? Clubcomedy: GKH267 sent that one Linda Smith: Took him to the hospital? Linda Smith: Just a Guess. Clubcomedy: TenSleepW inquires of Linda.. Question: How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop. Linda Smith: for you 3 Clubcomedy: Yes! This question is from JONNYTELZ.... Question: Where's JenRogers? Linda Smith: She's at home with you dad :) ComedyNite: playing checkers...Of course Clubcomedy: DavisAnumbers wonders... Question: Linda.. should women stand up (in the bathroom) for equal rights? Linda Smith: They should only stand up (in the bathroom) if they have a penis Clubcomedy: User39120 asks simply... Question: Wookie? Linda Smith: Cookie? Clubcomedy: another, from the audience... Question: Why can't Irish dogs clear tables? Linda Smith: Cause they are drunk :) Clubcomedy: Spelman 40... Question: Is this thing on? Linda Smith: *#%* you Question: What do OJ and David Hasselhoff have in common? Linda Smith: Both are BAD actors! Question: It was 76-10, thank you very much!!!!! Clubcomedy: Abacrobe is back.. Royale has left, Ab Question: What do Judge Ito and Kato Kaelin have in common? Linda Smith: They are both Asia ComedyNite: Kato the dog Question: Why does Monica Seles grunt so loudly? Linda Smith: Cause she got the knife in her back Question: Why does the media care so much about OJ? Linda Smith: Because you people eat it up ComedyNite: Last question for LINDA SMITH Clubcomedy: User 39 just can't get enough... Question: How long would it take OJ to break out of jail if he really wanted to? Linda Smith: If he *REALLY* wanted to....!?! ComedyNite: Thank you LINDA SMITH......... ComedyNite: Next we have DENNIS REGAN ComedyNite: He has been on Comedy Central, and HBO Question: How are Ron and Nancy doing? Dennis Regan: Nancy went with Sluggo....They are in LOVE. Question: What happened when you tried phone sex? Dennis Regan: I dialed the wrong number. Question: WHy do rock stars videos have naked woman in them all the time??? Dennis Regan: I hadn't noticed....They are naked? Clubcomedy: Thefoutze wonders... Question: How do you play this game? Dennis Regan: WHAT GAME? Clubcomedy: Jazzdog is curious... Question: Do you know what is clear and smells like worms? Question: Can humans fly? Dennis Regan: Un-scented Ban Roll-on Question: Who was the first 900 number user? Clubcomedy: anawim2 asked that one Dennis Regan: 900-suck Clubcomedy: Here's David a... Question: Would you sell your soul if you could become famous? Dennis Regan: I already sold my soul for something else. Clubcomedy: PB1254... Question: can i have a t-shirt? Dennis Regan: ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY, NO...But thanks for asking Clubcomedy: KMDBuda, what's on your mind? Question: Will Jeff Foxworthy's new show last more than one week? Dennis Regan: Nostudamus predicts it would come to pass. Clubcomedy: Traviss 19 has a real poser, Dennis... Question: what is the difference between a AOL and prodigy Dennis Regan: Call your Guru! Clubcomedy: Pagan Scu, you're next... Question: what is the hardest part about eating a vegetable? Dennis Regan: It always makes me hungry for a Philly Cheesesteak Clubcomedy: Hotwyr77 is really looking for a T-shirt Question: I'm curious... What is the meaning of life, the universe and everything? Dennis Regan: You are curious? CURIOUS? Clubcomedy: David again... Question: Where are your children tonight? ComedyNite: All across America! Clubcomedy: Jonny again... Question: Is Jen in Ohio? ComedyNite: Yes, I believe that is where she is buried. Clubcomedy: A new one, from Logisgrp... Question: who r u?? Dennis Regan: I am the god of hellfire.... Dennis Regan: And I bring you FIRE! Question: Why does the TIger love frosted flakes??? ComedyNite: He hasn't actually said he loves them. He says they are GRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreat! Question: What does UPN REALLY stand for? Dennis Regan: Under Privileged Network Clubcomedy: Inishowen asks.. Question: How would you handle OJ Simson, right now??? Dennis Regan: Lay off O.J....Hasn't he suffered enough. Clubcomedy: pvillefis... Question: What did Nicole Simpson say to Ron Goldman Dennis Regan: I wasn't there ...How would I know...(DUH) Clubcomedy: a new one from david... Question: Is there a "backstage" in Carolines? Dennis Regan: Not exactly. Dennis Regan: There's a green room Clubcomedy: olcexpress is here, to ask... Question: Is Stand Up Comedy Clubs becoming a thing of the past? Dennis Regan: No Clubcomedy: Lucky2042, what up?.. Question: is god watching us or laughing at us? Dennis Regan: god is busy watching other planets...His Favorites. Question: Why do baseball players strike out???? Dennis Regan: Cause it's hard to walk with four balls. Question: How many teamsters does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dennis Regan: 15, one to do it, and 14 to watch and clock out. ComedyNite: Llone asks that are the 2 things that OJ has that I want ComedyNite: A life and a comfortable pillow. Clubcomedy: Here is Shadowmanz... Question: What do you get crossing Bill Clinton with Forest Gump? Dennis Regan: Dan Quayle Question: Do those little Keebler elves ever get any? Dennis Regan: Where do you think cream cookies come from Question: What was Adam's first word after he saw Eve? Dennis Regan: Yur purtty Question: Will Boston really win the World Series this year? Dennis Regan: What color is the sky in your world? Question: Why use liquid soap? Dennis Regan: to get the filth slime and scum off your body ComedyNite: DENNIS HAS TO GO BE FUNNY ON STAGE. Clubcomedy: IF YOU WANT TO COME ONSTAGE, use the Interact with Host button right NOW! :) ComedyNite: JIM DAVID is here to wrap up the night ComedyNite: He is a favorite here at Caroline's Question: Why do you have 2 first names? Jim David: You will have to ask my ancestor Finis David.... Jim David: The Comic who came over on the Mayflower Jim David: He did 20 minutes on Scurvy Clubcomedy: Jim, meet BBurke 140... Question: Hello, i tried to stump the comedian but he avoided ME~! Jim David: Sorry, I have to take the 5th on that question. Clubcomedy: Jase 14 has one for you, Jim... Question: Ok, how many sorority sisters does it take to screw in a light bulb? Jim David: 1 to screw it in....1 to gossip about it and one to tell it what ugly heels it has. Question: Is there anything that won't eventually kill you? Jim David: Repeated oral sex with the Matigaskin antelope Question: Jim, Who was the only straight member of the Village People? Jim David: by your question....I assume that you think the Village people are gay. Jim David: Everyone knows that they are members of the Christian coalition ComedyNite: One more question Question: Are you related to Tom David? Jim David: He is my lover! ComedyNite: That's it....I would like to thank all the comic that helped out tonight ComedyNite: JIM DAVID ComedyNite: Dennis Regan ComedyNite: LINDA SMITH ComedyNite: and Royale Watkins ComedyNite: Please keep an eye out for our 45 minute Amateur hour coming up Wednesday nights ComedyNite: And of course we will be here next week for Stump the Stand Up C 1995 CapCities/ABC